counter lullaby [nung 4thyr. HS pa po ito]

I always write poems for suicidals, never knowing that I will find myself in my own letters. I’ve always been the tough one in everything, never knowing that I will find myself lying in a corner, drowning in my own tears and blood lets of red rain.

 As my silhouette roam around these halls, many said that I’ve always lived in fantasy. The truth was the opposite. My shadow is only a façade of who I really am for I was drowned even in my own eyes and no one can reach me even him.

 Late afternoon, one night, near sunset, I tried to end whisper of voices in my head. I was so confused. I never thought that it’ll be over. Then, he held me close and put me to sleep. As I close my eyes and loose my sanity, my paradise started to bring light and in reality it will never be.

 The clock rang early morn. I was alone again. I started to think. I started to cry then I understand that life is never made perfect. If this is my path then I shall take it. No matter what will happen, I will never again lose faith in that

Man.

 From this, I learned without books, the meaning of love and the meaning of myself. I learned that dreams are only dreams. They aren’t real. Poems are only poems. They are words to inspire and to satisfy. And suicidals are suicidals made to lose life but I stand for them, knowing the insides of one. But now, I learned a lot.

 Though yesterday he left me and tomorrow he’ll be gone, I’ve realized that death is never an answer for any problem. For today, he holds me tight and though I can’t breathe I won’t ever let go. For I learned that death is made for those who has no heart at all because it is given away to the one she loved most.

 Through this I say that I fear no death for I’ve found what I’ve lived for and this is what I call my “counter lullaby”.

wala plang word na suicidals hehehehe